


start the scene in reverse

by gczebos



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Character Death Fix, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier in the Deadlights, Self-Sacrifice, Temporary Character Death, The Turtle CAN Help Us (IT), on god someone needs to get richie some self esteem, richie is an idiot and eddie loves him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29863716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gczebos/pseuds/gczebos
Summary: In the first six lifetimes, Richie and Eddie got married. They lived until they were old and in rocking chairs, Eddie yelling at the kids to get off their lawn, and Richie ridiculing him for it the entire time. They had the Losers every step of the way, their careers were mostly successful, and they, above all else, were happy.But this was the seventh lifetime.“Take me instead!” He pleaded to whoever was listening. “Take me instead, save him, please!”DO YOU MEAN THE WORDS YOU SPEAK, RICHIE TOZIER?Nobody else seemed to hear the words that boomed across the space. The Losers kept dragging him further away from Eddie, jagged rocks falling left and right as they weaved their way out of the cavern.“I do.” He promised for the seventh time, Eddie’s body finally out of his line of sight.AS YOU WISH.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	start the scene in reverse

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Did you miss me? It's been so long! Please enjoy this fic, and let me know where you think it's going!
> 
> Trigger warnings: canon character death, violence (mainly against the clown), internalized homophobia. Please let me know if you ever need anything else additionally tagged.

In the first lifetime, Richie and Eddie had gotten married in Los Angeles on a sunny August afternoon, with the four remaining Losers (and Patty Uris) all in attendance. Richie had worn a navy suit (in a shocking turn of subtlety), while Eddie had opted for a pale pink suit that nobody except one Beverly Marsh had expected him to walk down the aisle in. They were married by Mike, they honeymooned in Italy, they adopted two cats and three children, and they, above all else, were happy.

In the second lifetime, Richie and Eddie had gotten married in New York on New Year’s Eve in front of only the government officiant and a witness they’d grabbed from the hall. Richie was still wearing a ridiculous ugly Christmas sweater with Darth Vader’s face knitted onto it, and Eddie had worn a much nicer, simpler forest green cable-knit sweater. More importantly, they kissed right at midnight, making the first minute of the new year the first they’d spend as a married couple. They honeymooned in Miami, adopted a dog, spoiled Beverly and Ben’s children rotten, and they, above all else, were happy.

In the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth lifetimes, Richie and Eddie got married. They lived until they were old and in rocking chairs, Eddie yelling at the kids to get off their lawn, and Richie ridiculing him for it the entire time. They had the Losers every step of the way, their careers were mostly successful, and they, above all else, were happy.

When Richie Tozier opened his eyes to face his seventh lifetime, he didn’t know where he was. The world was dark, cold, and people were yelling - 

“Hey Richie, listen! I think I got it man -”

Eddie Kaspbrak looked different hovering over him and covered in grime, but Richie still would’ve said “I do” with as much love in his heart as he had the previous six times.

“I think I killed IT!”

_Swirling visions of the love of his life in that pink suit, with their twins in his arms, holding Richie’s hand as they watched the sun set from their porch..._

“I think I killed IT for rea -”

A claw pierced straight through Eddie as if he were made of tissue paper, the smile fading from his face and blood slowly dripping out of his mouth and onto Richie. Someone was screaming. Richie was pretty sure it was himself. Eddie’s hand found its way to Richie’s cheek, but if the act was meant to calm Richie, it wasn’t working. Before Richie could pull Eddie closer, hold him tight and never let go just like - 

_Their first dance in the third lifetime was to the song “Can’t Help Falling In Love” because Eddie had always had a soft spot for Elvis, and Richie had always had a soft spot for Eddie._

The alien clown of their nightmares flung Eddie across the cavern like a ragdoll, and there was nothing Richie could do except scramble to get over to him as fast as humanly possible. The others ran just as quickly, but it was unlikely that their speed was fueled by the love Richie had held in his heart for over a _millenia_ , whether Eddie was aware of it or not.

Groans were escaping Eddie’s lips in the corner of the cavern he’d landed in, but groaning in pain was better than the eerie silence that Richie had been so worried he’d face. 

“Rich - “

“Eds -”

“Don’t -”

“I know, I-I know buddy, don’t call you that.” Without a second thought, Richie had shed his jacket off and placed it tight against the gaping wound on Eddie’s chest. It didn’t matter how much the jacket had cost, or even that it was one of the only items in his closet he had an affinity for. No item of clothing was worth losing Eddie over. 

Eddie coughed and sputtered and there was so much blood everywhere, and Richie was the only one who hadn’t seen the destruction in Bev’s bathroom all those years ago but even if he had, this was simply too much blood.

“Is he okay?” Mike asked as the rest of the Loser’s arrived, the clown’s claws still swiping at them from just out of reach. 

In his fourth lifetime, or maybe it was the fifth, Eddie and Richie had both gone to therapy for the litany of issues their lives had caused. This Richie, here in the seventh lifetime, chose to ignore every bit of therapy his brain was keeping in file folders locked away, and instead chose to grab Mike by the shoulders and shove him against the cavern wall.

“Whoa, Richie -”

“This is your fucking fault, Mike -” He threw a punch that didn’t land, his arm held back by Ben and his body held back by Bill. “We didn’t have to come back here! Your fucking ritual was bullshit! This is all your fault!”

“Beep beep, Trashmouth.”

“Don’t you fucking ‘beep beep’ me, assholes, look at him! He’s hurt really bad, he’s -”

**_“Little Eddie, so little he’d fit on a barbeque, huh Richie?”_ **

All the fight in Richie’s body left immediately, leaving Ben and Bill to catch him before he face-planted into the stone.

_“Sacrifice? I nominate Eddie.” He’d said, not twenty-four hours ago. Or six lifetimes ago. Richie wasn’t so sure anymore. Eddie had been skewered, and Richie had wished for it._

“D-Don’t listen to IT, R-Richie. IT’s j-j-j-just trying to m-make you feel s-small.”

Eddie sat up straighter. “That’s it.” The small voice that escaped his lips would’ve gone unheard if the others weren’t so tuned into Eddie and his injuries at the moment.

“What’s it, Eddie?” Beverly asked,

“I choked IT, back in the pharmacy, I-I made IT feel small-” His words were cut off abruptly with another round of wet coughing, but luckily the others were quick to catch on.

“So we just have to bully the clown?” Ben’s voice matched the furrowed expression that sat on his face. 

“B-B-Bully the clown.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Four of them began moving towards where Pennywise awaited them. Richie didn’t budge from where he stood, beside Eddie.

“Richie, you coming?”

“Someone’s gotta make sure Eds is okay.”

Beverly and Ben exchanged a glance with one another, but didn’t question it. 

Yells and taunts bounced off every wall of the cavern as the Losers made their return to the battlefield, Pennywise’s jabs echoed just as loudly. It all sounded muffled to Richie. 

_In one of the lifetimes, their oldest child had come out to them as trans. Richie and Eddie had never been prouder._

_A hurricane of colors flickered behind Richie’s eyes, memories of annual Pride Parades, their son in his blue, pink, and white binder sitting proud on Richie’s shoulders, acceptance in the air and bravery unquestionable._

Yet here Richie sat, unwilling to bring the truth to his lips, not brave enough to tell Eddie a single memory from the lives they shared together while he’d been stuck in the Deadlights.

And there Eddie sat, bleeding out, trying to focus on the pain long enough to keep his eyes open.

“You should help them.” Eddie mumbled.

“It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, Eds.”

“Was that, are you quoting _Africa_ at me right now?”

And Richie couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him at that moment. Eddie had managed a glare from where he was bleeding out on the cavern floor, and maybe it was the intensity of the situation, or maybe it was just Richie’s breaking point, but he laughed and laughed and let the words “I love you” slip right out of his mouth.

_“I love you.” He said in the second lifetime, after catching Eddie in the kitchen with flour everywhere, trying his best to make a cake for Richie’s birthday._

_“I love you.” He said in the fourth lifetime, just before they fell asleep after a dinner with the Losers._

_“I love you.” He said in the first lifetime, Eddie holding a twin in each arm, rocking them to sleep._

_“I love you.” He said, over and over again, countless times over countless years, through laughter, tears, and celebrations._

If Richie hadn’t been following the never-ending yellow brick road of memories, he would’ve heard Eddie repeat those same words back to him, a smile of his own lacing his blood-lined lips. But Richie was spiraling, and then all too soon the others were calling for his help.

“Go.” Eddie said.

“No.” Richie said.

“Don’t make me White Fang you.”

“You couldn’t White Fang me if you tried, Eds.”

Beverly was screaming his name. So was Bill. Richie grabbed Eddie’s hand, held it in his for a brief moment.

“Stay.” He whispered, bringing his lips to kiss Eddie’s knuckles.

“Okay, Rich.” 

And Richie was off, running to join the others, words leaving his mouth with such fury and vitriol and unadulterated rage that the clown seemed to shrink with every syllable he screamed. The monster got smaller and smaller, the Losers’ power growing with every insult, every taunt, their tongues lined with words sharper than knives until finally, the nightmarish figures that had haunted them for twenty-seven years looked no larger than a baby.

Richie did not hesitate to rip the heart from IT’s chest. He began to crush it in his hand, four others joining his in the fray.

_This is for the man I married six times over._

_This is for the best friend I lost to fear and a bathtub._

_This is for the hundreds and thousands of children who’d been lost over the centuries._

_This is for Georgie._

_This is for the shame so deeply rooted in my bones that I cannot look at myself in a mirror most days._

_This is for every time the word “faggot” was placed next to my name, scribbled across bathroom stalls and spray painted on alleyway walls._

_This is for me._

Richie did not consider himself a violent person, but nothing in his life had felt so satisfying as the life draining from the beating heart in his hand.

“IT’s dead.” Bill said, not a hint of a stutter in his words. 

“Eddie -”

And without hesitation Richie was running again, back to Eddie’s side, nearly tripping over several rocks to make it to him before it was too late. 

_“Who’ll be the first of us to go, do you think?” A ninety-seven year old Eddie had asked him one day, as they sat together on the faded blue couch._

_“We’ll go together.” He’d replied. And it was true - they’d gone within a day of each other in every lifetime._

“D-Did you kill IT?” Eddie asked, his eyes barely open by the time Richie made it to him.

“Yeah Eds, we got it.”

Relief flooded through Eddie, his body relaxing and a soft smile working its way onto his lips. The other Losers circled around them. Eddie liked being surrounded by his closest friends. He even liked the way Richie was holding his jacket close to Eddie’s chest, as if willpower alone could stop the bleeding.

“Richie,” he whispered.

“What?” Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately.

“Don’t call me Eds,” he said, and smiled. He raised his left hand slowly and touched Richie’s cheek. Richie was crying. “You know I...I…” Eddie closed his eyes, thinking how to finish, and while he was still thinking it over he died.

_“I don’t want to live in this world if it’s not with you.” Eddie had told him in the third lifetime, soaked to the bone, two suitcases at his side, dripping wet outside Richie’s front door, fresh off of a divorce from Myra and a plane trip from New York. “I haven’t loved you hard enough yet.”_

The scream that erupted from Richie’s throat as Eddie’s hand dropped from his cheek could have moved mountains. 

He threw his arms around Eddie’s body, hugging him close to his chest and rocking back and forth -

_Just like he did when Eddie wasn’t feeling well -_

And once he started sobbing, he couldn’t stop. Somewhere behind him, Bill was crying (Richie only knew because he could hear the way his breath was hitching, just like it had after they lost Georgie in this cavern all those years ago), and something was rumbling.

“Richie, we have to go.” As if it were that simple. Richie shook his head in response to Beverly’s words, only gripping Eddie tighter.

“I can’t leave him here.”

“The whole cavern’s coming down, Rich -”

“I’m not leaving him here, it’s too dark -”

“He’s dead -”

“Beverly I don’t know what the fucking Deadlights did to you but I lived six lifetimes with him, I’ve loved him for centuries, if you’re going to leave him down there you’re fucking leaving me too.”

He’d always had a tendency towards saying too much.

The rocks began falling. Ben grabbed Richie, and started pulling.

“No! No - stop it, Ben -”

Mike began to help him.

“Fucking stop it, _we can still help him, we can still save him_ -”

The second he was no longer touching Eddie, Richie felt untethered, as if he might as well be one of those kids, floating high above them, lost in the world that those three blinding lights had manifested.

That world hadn’t been so bad, after all.

“Take me instead!” He pleaded to whoever was listening. “Take me instead, save him, _please_!”

_DO YOU MEAN THE WORDS YOU SPEAK, RICHIE TOZIER?_

Nobody else seemed to hear the words that boomed across the space. The Losers kept dragging him further away from Eddie, jagged rocks falling left and right as they weaved their way out of the cavern.

“I do.” He promised for the seventh time, Eddie’s body finally out of his line of sight.

_AS YOU WISH._

* * *

It broke Ben’s heart to hear Richie’s screams, but Beverly had made the call to get them out of there, and Ben had listened to Beverly. Thankfully, Richie stopped screaming halfway out of the cavern, a blessing on all of the Losers’ ears.

Eddie was the best of them. So was Stan. He didn’t want to leave Eddie down there, but there was no time, and Ben may have been strong, but carrying dead weight while trying to avoid falling rocks and debris would’ve lost them at least one more life, he was sure of it.

By the time they finally escaped the collapsing house, Ben let his grip on Richie go and fell to the ground, grateful to be seeing sunlight and man-made pavement again. God, he never thought he’d be so happy to see the street in his life, but he could kiss the ground with all the adrenaline running through his system right now.

His thoughts of worshipping the pavement was brought to a halt by a gasp from Beverly. His eyes immediately darted up to her, assessing her injuries (though it was hard to tell underneath all of the dried blood) - she seemed to be fine. It was what she was seeing that had caused the sound. Ben turned around, and a gasp of his own escaped his lips.

Standing behind him, staring at where Neibolt used to sit, was one, completely uninjured Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie Tozier was nowhere to be found.

**Author's Note:**

> I am just as anxious as you are to find out what happens next because I have not written it yet (ope), but I'll work on getting it up soon!!!! I promise!!!! Let me know your thoughts! :)


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